Saturday, March 7, 2009

Getting an ex-pat-titude

I was sitting in a local establishment last night to have dinner with a friend when an Australian voice came over a loud speaker announcing that "The super jackpot is about to be drawn tonight. one hundred thousand kina is on offer. That's fifty thousand of the real ones." 'Real ones!' I kind of chuckled to myself at the fact that he basically labelled the local currency as being about as valuable as monoploy money even though of late the Papua New Guinean currency made a big jump on the Australian.


Like it or not expatriates are here to stay in Papua New Guinea and they are also important in a sense that they prop up a lot of the economic activity here, they bring in valuable expertise from the outside world some in fields not available to pursue here and many bring in services or start businesses which are vital to progress in a newly developing country.

It is hard not to get an ex-pat-itude in Papua New Guinea. A lot of the people who come from overseas to work here are sent by companies with great allowances made for them because it is felt that life here comes with great sufferance which needs to be compensated. Many businessman and workers only stay for 2 or 3 months at a time, some staying at pricey hotels every night, because they'll work here only until they can go back home. Rent in Port Moresby is astronomical. The rent for a decent place starts upwards of AUS$1000 and then there is the pricey end of town.

Most homes have a haus meri (female house maid) who will clean, wash, iron etc. The wages are small for these people but without this arrangement many homes would be without the needed income. The haus meri where I am staying quit her job as an accountant to be a domestic house cleaner because, as a Papua New Guinean, she was paid just to clean and it was less hours she had to work and more to look after her children. As ideal as it sounds to have someone to do all this for you what does it do to people, particularly children, who don't learn to take care for themselves?

And another thing is that ex-pats live in homes or compounds surrounded by security fencing and guards. Razor wire and metal bars are necessary because of the high crime rate which naturally targets those with money but it's unfortunate that it creates a kind of apartheid feel between locals and those from overseas. Because of safety fears you will barely find a light coloured face walking down the streets of Moresby but go to an expensive restaurant or a club like the one I was in last night and its like you're looking for the little black ying in the middle of the white yang (or is it the other way around?)

Then there is the double-standard treatment walking into the shopping centres. The Papua New Guinean security guard swipes his metal detector over everybody walking in until you, a 'whitey', walks past him and he puts away the machine, smiles and holds the door open for you. Not every Papua New Guinean has such benevolent feelings towards their feelings and nor does every ex-pat have such a sheltered experience when they come to PNG. I once met a New Zealander who felt right at home in this country. He couldn't stand trips back to Australia or New Zealand where he felt traffic lights, regulations and paper work were hassles he could get away from back on the island.

I've had a few conversations with ex-pats who tell me how much they hate going to certain, more isolated parts of the country (where they are usually put in hotels or self-contained compounds at great expense). I listen sympathetically because on one hand it is difficult to put someone who is use to the technology, the access to friends and family, the food, the entertainment and culture of wherever they are from but on the other hand it shows how far removed many people are from having a little hardship in their lives. I mean hardship to the extent that it gives you an appreciation for what you have and for the difficulties of others. There is a huge gap between the plight of the poor and the comfort of the rich in this country. This is part of the reason I'm pleased to be involved with an effort that can help to empower the population to take the driver's seat in their own progress and development. Hopefully one day coming to PNG to work will be an opportunity not a burden!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Lost in Translation - Itambu

This is the second instalment in this segment 'Lost in Translation' i'll explain to you a word you will see a lot if you come to Papua New Guinea, 'Itambu'. All over the place you will see signs which contain the word 'itambu' and from the general sense of the context of the word you can tell 'itambu' is some bad mojo.

'Itambu' in Tok Pidgin is for us the word 'forbidden' in English. In the sign above it translates to, "It is forbidden to stand close to the airplane (balus)" or less formally, "Don't stand next to the the airplane or your arms and head will be chopped off and the little dance you started in front of the rotor blades of this aircraft will look silly in retrospect." Look closely at the picture. He was definitely doing a little jig before the guy was chopped up. Look at his legs...see?

But here's something more interesting. 'Itambu' also means 'in-laws'. So your 'in-laws' are 'forbidden' in Papua New Guinea. I don't think this requires any further explanation. But for a country with such an apt linguistical (if that is a word, if not, tada, I am the inventor) way of avoiding this taboo there seems to be a little bit of revision needed by some people of this very useful word. Here is an article I photographed last year. It's not that uncommon to see articles of this kind in the national newspapers. It's quite disturbing and very sad to read about this abuse, which usually occurs to females but also sometimes young boys. Last night I heard on the radio another accusation of incest in which an uncle (20 or so years) paid his slightly younger niece for relations...AND SHE CONSENTED! It's not a problem unique to this part of the world, but it's definitely one of the problems inflicting this country.

Friday, February 6, 2009

A Fun Game to Play - Sister Showdown

Here's a fun game to play. Take two sisters, in one room, both on gmail chat and then use the old suggestive sell...

Chatting with Tahereh...me:can you give your sister a slap for me? tahereh87: hahaha
i just slapped her
:)
me: just SLAP her
really hard
8:21 PM tahereh87: hahahahaha
i JUST DID
me: YES
pinch her
tahereh87: hahah i just did
hahaha
got her this time
:P
me: pull her hair
tahereh87: hahahha
i just did
HAHAHAHA
me: she told me she's going to give you a horsey bite
watch out
get her first
tahereh87: what the HELL si wrong with you
is*
me: hahaahaha
8:24 PM she told me she's going to put a wet wash cloth under neath your pillow case tonight so when you lay your head down it will get all wet
so get her first

Chatting with Tayabeh...
Tayebeh: oiii
dude
i am sitting next to tahereh
i can see what you wrote
slap yourself
8:21 PM me: HAHAHAH
Tayebeh: OUCH YOU &(#$^$^ (edited for the benefit of our audience)
me: :p
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
punch her in the arm
Tayebeh: no im stopping her
me: punch her
;)
Tayebeh: OWWW SHE JUST DID
YOU LOSER
me: punch her
Tayebeh: OWW DUDE
me: ge ther back
Tayebeh: STOP IT
YOUR A S^&( STIRER (Please Tayebeh this is a G-rated page)
8:23 PM me: giver her a horsey bite
Tayebeh: hahahah
me: HAHAHAHAHAH
did you get her?
Tayebeh: no

Later on it gets a little more creative...
me: yeah well she had a plan
i dont get it
but it involved something like getting your parents to hand over all your belongings to her
tahereh87: hmmmm
8:31 PM sounds like something that might happen
anytime soon
:P
me: hahahaha
8:35 PM Tay's defenses are down
go and sing really loudly in her ear
tell her you have a secret
then sing YMCA in her ear really loudly
me: hahahaha
can you go down to the kitchen and mix some sultanas in some flour, salt and water
and tay will come for a taste test
and then say YUCK
when you trick her

Meanwhile back at the bat cave...
me: she said she was going to steal Zhinus' things and then put them in your room and then frame you
so that your family will feel sorry for Zhinus and ask you to leave
Tayebeh: omg we arnt 12 dude
8:33 PM me: she said she was going to eat all your Dad's chocolate and then leave a note saying it was you but that you werent sorry that you did it
8:34 PM then your Dad would make a nap-sack full of food and tell you to leave home
8:36 PM me: Tahereh said she's making chocolate chip cookies and if you want some come down to the kitchen
Tayebeh: hahaha so she can put a wet napkin in my pillow?
thats not gonna work

But really i love these two little monkeys!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Serendipity

ser·en·dip·i·ty (sěr'ən-dĭp'ĭ-tē)
The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.

Etymology (i.e. the origins of the word)

'Serendip' is an old Persian name for the country now known as Sri Lanka. The word comes from an ancient Persian fairy tale 'The Three Princes of Serendip' in which the main characters make fortunate discoveries by accident.
The word was brought into the English venacular by author Horace Walpole; in a letter he wrote, he coined the term 'serendipity'...

"this discovery, indeed, is almost of that kind which I call Serendipity, a very expressive word."

Some interesting serendiptious moments in history:
* Christopher Colombus looking for a new route to India found the Americas.
* An apple fell on Sir Isaac Newtown's head leading him to ponder about the nature of gravity.
* The slinky was invented when a US navy engineer accidentally knocked a torsion spring off his work table.
* Penicillin was dicovered by Alexander Fleming when he absent mindedly left out a glass culture dish
* Edwin Jenner discovered vaccination when he observed that milk maids did not catch smallpox after being exposed to cowpox.

The word 'zemblanity' was created by William Boyd as an antonym to serendipity meaning "making unhappy, unlucky and expected discoveries occurring by design." But it didn't quite take off quite so much as the word serendipity. It doesn't quite roll off the tongue does it? Also no one likes a whinger Boydy!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near?

Oh right, you're a magician! Yeah I forgot about that.

Monday, February 2, 2009

A cool experiment

You'll have to excuse me. It's been like a mad house here trying to keep up with the influx of correspondence since the beginning of this blog. Hold tight I will try and respond to all of your comments on my page. In the meantime here's an interesting experiment you can do with rather peculiar results.
It's important to follow this experiment very closely or otherwise you won't be able to observe the chemical reactions that take place. You will need a packet of Mentos and a 2 litre bottle of Diet Coke. It works much better with Diet Coke.

You don't need preparation but you should get a friend to help record the moment on camera. Simply take about 5 Mentos and thread through them a piece of string. You could use a pipe cleaner if this works better for you. Next, and this is the important part, you need to work very quckly. Take the lid off the diet coke. It might work even better if you pour out or drink a bit of the Diet Coke. Then, in one quick motion, put the string of mentos in the bottle and put your eye up to the lid and look inside to see a very interesting chemical reaction.

This is a great experiment to do with kids or also older people as well. Send me your pictures and videos if you're able to conduct this experiment correctly. Enjoy your science experiment you boffins!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lost in Translation - A guide to kissing in Papua New Guinea

There is a very successful chain or hardware stores in this country called Steamships Hardware. The logo for the company contains the slogan 'Yu Kisim We?'
Considering the word 'we' is pronounced 'wer' and means 'where', a person with very elementary pidgin (like myself) might be lead to think the translation of this sentence is 'You kissed him where?" It conjures the vision of a big. burly tradesman furious that you, the customer, have been kissing men.
This isn't the kind of slogan that would invite me to shop at a venue which is full of drills, nail guns and a number of other tools which could be used in a nasty way by said disgruntled builder. But don't distress, the word 'kisim' equates roughly to the English verb 'take'. For instance you might tell your waiter to '...kisim plate' and rather than cleaning the good china with his tongue, your waiter will simply take the plates into the kitchen.
Still confused? Let's try some examples.

Mi kisim mami blo yu by stap maket.
I'm going to take your mother to the market.

Yu kisim rabis.
Take your rubbish.

Cam mi kisim yu.
Come, I'll take you.

Ok my pidgin isn't that great and a word of warning this word 'kisim' isn't used in other pidgin dialects. Be careful you don't get caught 'kisim' in any other countries.