Lost in Translation - A guide to kissing in Papua New Guinea

There is a very successful chain or hardware stores in this country called Steamships Hardware. The logo for the company contains the slogan 'Yu Kisim We?'
Considering the word 'we' is pronounced 'wer' and means 'where', a person with very elementary pidgin (like myself) might be lead to think the translation of this sentence is 'You kissed him where?" It conjures the vision of a big. burly tradesman furious that you, the customer, have been kissing men.
This isn't the kind of slogan that would invite me to shop at a venue which is full of drills, nail guns and a number of other tools which could be used in a nasty way by said disgruntled builder. But don't distress, the word 'kisim' equates roughly to the English verb 'take'. For instance you might tell your waiter to '...kisim plate' and rather than cleaning the good china with his tongue, your waiter will simply take the plates into the kitchen.
Still confused? Let's try some examples.

Mi kisim mami blo yu by stap maket.
I'm going to take your mother to the market.

Yu kisim rabis.
Take your rubbish.

Cam mi kisim yu.
Come, I'll take you.

Ok my pidgin isn't that great and a word of warning this word 'kisim' isn't used in other pidgin dialects. Be careful you don't get caught 'kisim' in any other countries.

More Toilet Humour

This is little Bob Babob. Cute kid, right? Well you didn't step in his poo...I did.

Cultural Performances from Lae

Here is a small selection of some of the performances from the Lae Regional Bahai Conference. 41 of these conferences are being held around the world (for more information go to http://news.bahai.org/community-news/regional-conferences/) and its the largest congregation of Baha'is in this country ever (by at least 3 or 4 times).

You can really see the diversity of the people here. Papua New Guinea is one of the most diverse country in the world with over 850 language groups, each considering themselves unique and different from the others. I can't imagine all of these groups being together in any other circumstance but the Baha'i Faith, which has spread over the World and across the diverse ethnic groups around the world has united different people who otherwise would never have even met. The gravity of the impact of this kind of unity is highlighted here in a country where there are still some villages which have never been discovered by the outside world.

That's Entertainment!

So a lot of people ask me, "Adrian are you really having an effect in Papua New Guinea or is it all just talk?" To those people I say watch this guy dance and then you tell me whether you can see some of my influence on the people here.

This is a hilarious version of Old McDonald. I didn't realise Old McDonald was a song from Melanesian culture but you learn something new every day. Could this guy be the next Youtube sensation?

Toilet Humour

This is a picture of your average pit toilet in Papua New Guinea. I have to admit relieving oneself in a pit toilet is not the most pleasant or easiest of tasks which i found out on my recent trip to Karkar Island.

I usually avoid going to the toilet until it's absolutely necessary. This one time it was absolutely necessary. It was early morning and before I took my daily wash I strolled into my local pit toilet.

Not being that adept at using these kinds of latrines I usually brace myself against a wall, propping myself out while I vacate the old bowels. This time was no different so as I squatted i held one of the walls. Using no more force than I usually i felt the wall move and then i realised I had pushed it over and it was falling off. Worried about exposing myself in an awkward position it only got worse when I realised the roof too was falling and the whole building was collapsing.

With pants around my ankles I waddled away from the middle of the building which was falling down directly on me. Imagine me crouched like a frog amongst the rubble of the toilet and hearing the villagers running to my aid. Thank God I was able to hoist my pants back up around my waist before they came to my rescue!

The owner/builder of the toilet started apologising profusely as I also did to him thinking I had knocked down his one toilet. In my defence I have to say he didn't have a great building record as the house he built for his mother collapsed about a few days into my stay there. Luckily she had passed away a year ago!

Welcome

So after one year of being here in Papua New Guinea I decided to start a blog so I can share the weird and wonderful adventures that I have here. In honour of this blog my good friend in Madonna went back into time and wrote a song for the launch of my new website.